Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
