we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there was a trapeze. enough said
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
