let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
