why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Mom said you looked used
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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