My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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