My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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