Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
