I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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