I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
