i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
