In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This girl is more easily done than said...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
