At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
