Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
