me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
