Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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