.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
