My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
