It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
