An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
