How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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