it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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