So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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