is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
