Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I intend to get homeless drunk
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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