can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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