This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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