Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
