You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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