i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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