Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
