Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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