I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you never un-have a 4some
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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