if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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