You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
