Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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