I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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