Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
