yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
