He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
