maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
