He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
