so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
operation have a gay friend backfired
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
