I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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