were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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