i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
