too bad you live with your parents still
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
