i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
