I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
