if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
