ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
